28.03.2012 - 28.03.2012

28.03.2012

My day started really cheerful. My friends and I had photoshoot for our Bahasa Melayu association. I'm so happy because I can skip Biology class that morning. I had planned with my friends to extend the photoshoot time so that we would not be entering the class. I guess my intention is wrong from the starting of the day. We just finished Yaasin reading and then there's me being cheerful about skipping class.

The shoot went well. I was being hyper and ethusiastic than usual. I laughed here and there. I didn't even sense that something will go wrong after that. I teased my friends. I clearly don't know what's wrong with me that day.

I managed to skip Biology class. Then we continue with PE at the field. WITH HIS CLASS TOO! Wah~ The moment I've been waiting since the sun rises. My crush. My eternity crush is having the same PE period as I am.

I saw him! So good looking with his PE outfit. *As if everyone looks hideous with it. duhhh Aida.*

As I'm sitting on the bench with my friends, I see him walking with a girl. Well that literally crushes my heart. I went back to my class and cries all my heart out. I can't believe what I had just witnessed just now. My quiet and shy crush is talking sweetly to another girl?

I wish to go home that instance but I know I can't. I told a friend of mine what I saw just now and tears streams down my cheek directly after that. I just couldn't stop crying. You can imagine how hard for me to stay and act cool in class when all I wanted to do is just cry and cry. That day went on like thousand years for me. I just couldn't wait to go home and cry alone in my room. This is just too heartbreaking.

School finally over. I went home and starts to cry in the car. Continues when I get home. When I done washing up. I end up sleeping early that night. I need Mahirah. But she's not there because she's in Seseri. Thanks to Faten and Alya cause they comfort me. Alya called me and asked why did I cry in canteen? I continue to cry and told her the truth. I just couldn't stop. Arisha and Nadia is there too. I'm glad my friends were there to support me.

Starting from that day. From that date. I promise to myself to forget him. Keeps saying he's not worth it for me. But it's not easy. I keep on going back to our old sweet memoirs. 2009-2012 isn't that short. I can't simply move on. How irony when I used to tell people to move on and live their life but I seem can't do the same. I live on pathetic life for months. Until I couldn't take it and started to like him back. I don't care if I'll get hurt again. All I want is him. More likely I don't want to let go of the feelings. It is too precious for me. I don't want my heart to feel empty.

18.07.2012

My friends and I, we are in decorating squad. Tomorrow's a big day. I have to do the decorations. And finish all of them by tonight. Meaning we're going to spend the night at school for the first time. I was ecstatic about that. I am Yellow team. Him? He is in the Green team. His location is beside mine. We have to finish the decoration at the location given. Oh well, I am busy that day. I can't even see him. Maybe he's playing truant. LOL

That night, I go to the school with Nadia,Shawanie and Narissa. We are doing final touch on our mummy. Yes our theme that year is Pharaoh Time. When I am doing my mummy,guess what I see in front of me. A SWEET COUPLE~ Him and her.

Breakdown for the second time that night. Fool me.

21.11.2012

The day where I doubt myself... Is he the one I used to love? Do I really want to know him more? He's not the person I used to know in the beginning. No, I don't even want to know his real self. I want him to get back to the person I knew 3 years ago. The quiet and shy him. Not this person.

22.11.2012

I feel empty... My heart is empty. It's weird 'cause this kind of feeling never exist before in my heart. I stopped thinking bout him. I get know what's going on..

I... MOVED...ON...

25.11.2012

Today, I'm going to go for 5 days courses in HUSM. He's there. Well, I joined this programme because of him. Damn, I regret of going. But, thank god my girls are there with me.

I have to act like I still liked him. My girls still don't know that I moved on. Well, I kinda scared to tell them beforehand because I'm afraid that the feelings might come back. It's still new and all.

OH! GREAT! JUST GREAT! This courses divided us into group. He and I, we are groupmates.

26.11.2012

Second day, and we sit next to each other by COINCIDENT!

29.11.2012

The programme ends! YAY! At last. I had fun and all. :) And still had no feelings towards him. Hard times for me to handle. PHEW~

28.03.2013

The girls knew long ago about this move on thingy. But they're just not used to restrain themselves from telling updates about him to me. I just deaf my ears and act like I don't know a thing.

It's been a year. I still pitied myself cause of what had happened last year. The pain still lingers in my heart. The incident still flash in my mind. The moment of me, crying all by myself. It still hurts.

But hey! Someone is moved on! And she still fights for it. It's hard but a girl gotta do what a girl needs to do.

Till then... XOXO

p/s ;
EX CRUSH! I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE! ^^v 

Sikit-Sikit :(

Assalamualaikum semua & salam Ramadhan,

It's been a long time huh? Sorry la. Aku memang takde mood nak update blog sekarang. Rasa macam putus angin u know. PUTUS ANGIN? HAHAH!

Okay,cerita kita hari ni pasal tajuk kat atas tu haaaa.

Sikit-sikit.

Sikit-sikit apa?

Sebenarnya sekarang ni,aku berjaya jugak move on. Walaupon sikit. Aku dah tak fikir kan dia 24/7,masa aku sedikit sebanyak terisi dengan benda yang lagi berfaedah.

Kat sekolah,aku akan try avoid dia. Kalau dulu lalu kelas dia mesti aku curi-curi toleh. Sekarang tak dah,aku pandang depan je.

Tapi,aku sedih la jugak. Aku taknak perasaan aku terhadap dia berubah walaupon satu milimeter,sebab aku dah semai perasaan ni dekat 4 tahun. Siapa tak sayang kan?

Kalau aku harus menangis untuk dia agar perasaan ni kekal,aku akan menangis. Aku sanggup hati aku terluka asalkan perasaan itu masih wujud.

Namun,siapalah aku nak menentang takdir? Akan ada yang lebih baik selepas ini. Ada hikmah di sebalik semua kejadian ini. Aku pasrah. 

Sayang.

Assalamualaikum semua,

Kadang-kadang terasa nak delete blog ni. Sebab macam terlalu public sangat. Nak privatekan,sian pulak besties takleh baca.

Aku masuk upper form betul-betul kejutan budaya. Homework banyak,kena belajar betul-betul. Even masa masuk Form 1 dulu takde la se'stress' ini. Tambah-tambah sekarang,masalah semakin bertambah-tambah. Agak serabut.

Jadi keinginan nak delete blog semakin membuak. Tapi terasa sayang sebab semua benda pasal dia semuanya ada kat sini. Pasal keluarga,pasal kawan. SEMUA KAT SINI.

Aku pon bukan jenis ingat segala incident yang berlaku. Jadi kat sini je la tempat aku nak recall balik kenangan lalu. Nak sengih sorang-sorang. Nak menangis sorang-sorang. Semua kat sini. 

Masalah Dunia.

Assalamualaikum semua,

Sejak dari "PUTUS" dengan dia,aku tak update blog langsung kan? And kalau update blog pon post aku mesti pendek gile kan?

Aku bukan ape,this blog,about 70% of the contents sume nye berkisarkan dia.

I mean,you know,apa rasa kau baca balik semua post incident kau dengan orang yang kau anggap sangat special. Thinking that you both were meant to be together,feeling that he likes you too. Tapi bile tahu benda tu tak betul,aku macam patah semangat.

Kawan-kawan banyak beri semangat supaya aku dapat bangkit dari segala kemurungan yang melanda. Ye,hati ni tak kenal erti gembira setelah dapat tahu perkara tu.

Tapi sekarang,semangat aku dah pulih. And that's GREAT!

Dan sekarang ni,apa yang penting bagi aku ialah kawan-kawan aku. Tapi ade je yang macam tak appreciate friendship yang dah kitorang bina for 4 years ni. Takpe la,hak dia kan. Takleh cakap pape jugak.

Yang penting,aku gembira dengan yang lain.

p/s : Lu cakap tak serupa bikin BHAI! And that's not good for your health. HAHA!

Period Pain. :(

Assalamualaikum semua,

Chewahhhhh~ sejak bile pandai gune period pain ni? HAHA! Selama ni guna senggugut je,buang tebiat ke hape.

Ye-ye,aku buang tebiat sikit hari ni.

Balik kepada topik,taw tak senggugut ni SAKIT!

Sekian,terima kasih. :)

I Don't Know You.

Kini Tidak Lagi. :)

Assalamualaikum semua,

Tadi aku nampak dia cakap dengan H. Tapi, entah kenapa aku tak rasa sedih. In fact, aku statik dan terus tengok dia. Maybe aku da move on kut. Lagipon, H yang feeling lebih. Okay tipu, aku nampak dia yang feeling lebih. H langsung aku tak nampak. K byeeeee!

P/s : perlu ke hensem cenggitu sekali? Tak kan?

Plus, I am me again. After a month and a half. Syukur Alhamdulillah. :)